i don't know myself anymore
i don't know what i want anymore
im sick and tired of everything
let me fly away
to neverland
but where is it?

Title:	Untitled
Date:	2007-06-11 @ 01:03
Security:	public
Location:	jurong.
Music:	ticking of the clock
Mood:	okay

its great to be part of something, i think im enjoying being inside the blood steering committee. the people in there seems alot nicer then those friends around me. sometimes i feel that i can't really fit inside the clique and not to mention i missed my JVS friends alot. 

studying for mid year scuks! i have been study hard these few days i guessed but i wonder how much stuff actually got into my head. bio is freaking me out ! 

hmm i've read james patterson Maximum ride - Angel experiment. its a nice book, i finished reading it like in two days, 400 over pages hahas. well its abt six genetic engineered kids lives and their fight to freedom. well they are 98% human and 2% birds. so they can fly and each of them have different abilities. theres a sequel to this book named school's out. its abt 20 bucks. i think i'll share the cost with poyfang.

i think poyfang has a boyfriend now. hmm im in neeed of love too. hais

well sc celebrates gary's birthday. i wondered if anyone will celebrate my birthday.? most probably they will have a buffet somewhere and make it a class outing jus like year. hais.

im desperately in need of time. how i wished i have a time machine. thus i'll be in the power to rewind and stop time. to rewind time to changed my past, all those unhappy memories and thus a happier and brighter future will lies ahead. how i wished. 

-when am i going to find a true friend? someone that can understand me and stand by my side. someone who make me realise that theres something to look forward too.-

Title:	after what seems like an eternity, im blogging once again =]
Date:	2007-06-05 @ 20:23
Security:	public
Location:	jurong =]
Music:	空秋千
Mood:	cheerful

realised that my past posts were all filled with sadness, anger and angst. i think i shall try not to blog bout those kind of stuffs again. lest people will think my life is so emo and sad. hahas! wonder if anyone has been reading my private blog? i hope not ...

went to watch shrek3 on 04/06/07 at suntec city. it was a GP event i guessed since it was organised by Ms amy or maybe it was a council thingy. anyway shrek3 was such a nice movie la and its definitely worth the money. theres a moral to the story too, its something like : no matter what people labeled u as, you can be what u want to be and the only things tt obstructing u becoming who u wanna be, is you. The key to happiness in life, theres no point in trying to be someone cos u'll never be. each and everyone is unique so just stay happy and be yourself =]

i wanna catch more movies like fantastic 4, the dragon cartoon by JJ and lin yu zhong and harry potter =] i really can't wait for the potter show to come lah and the last book; harry potter and the deathly hallows. 1 more month ... meanwhile, im stuck with mugging for midyear. sian 1/2. there isn't really enough time for me study especially bio. guess i'll just have to press on and study really hard for the whole month =] 

jus finished writing the SGc. sgc is dumb lah! theres a word limit to whatever u wanna write. whats the point?! whats if we have more stuff to write and we aren't exactly very linguistic! dumbass.

hmm lin yu zhong's 空秋千 is nice la =]
here's the lyric
荡秋千
来回终究要停在原点
望太远
眼前幸福却忽略
晃半圈
圆不了爱恋
高一遍低一遍
风就吹散了永远
还想为你摇秋千
对着夕阳扮鬼脸
若月光再美一点
我们会否把手牵
还想被你碎碎念
当数流星的配乐
你却说你等不到天亮
空秋千陪整夜

秋千和我失眠
在你影子身边
这公园太想念
你无邪的笑脸

kokboy =]

Title:	DEVIL
Date:	2007-05-13 @ 13:28
Security:	public
Music:	jurong
Mood:	calm

Materiality. Material Force. Material temptation; sometimes obsession

The Devil is often a great card for business success; hard work and ambition.

Perhaps the most misunderstood of all the major arcana, the Devil is not really "Satan" at all, but Pan the half-goat nature god and/or Dionysius. These are gods of pleasure and abandon, of wild behavior and unbridled desires. This is a card about ambitions; it is also synonymous with temptation and addiction. On the flip side, however, the card can be a warning to someone who is too restrained, someone who never allows themselves to get passionate or messy or wild - or ambitious. This, too, is a form of enslavement. As a person, the Devil can stand for a man of money or erotic power, aggressive, controlling, or just persuasive. This is not to say a bad man, but certainly a powerful man who is hard to resist. The important thing is to remember that any chain is freely worn. In most cases, you are enslaved only because you allow it.

Title:	how long can a man fight the darkness before he finds it in himself?
Date:	2007-04-05 @ 15:39
Security:	public
Mood:	sad

sometimes i wonder if im too stuborn? always wanting to know the truth even thou truth hurts ... 
again and again i've asked myself does it really matter now that he did really told those super unrelated people about wad happened between us. today i tried to convince myself that since he alrdy told me the truth and apologized, i shld forget bout the past but it is jus so difficult. esp when i overheard him talking to justin. okay i may have mis-interpret what they were talking abt but im someone who can forgive easily but i will never forget, so what am i suppose to do?

what really bothers me was that he actually told tie zheng(TZ) wad hapeen between us and the amount of stuff TZ noes was shocking. why did he have to tell him? just because he asked? if he told only our own classmates i wouldn't  be affected by it but how can he tell someone thats so DISTANT? for the past months, i was trying so hard not to tell anyone even thou they asked cos i know if i were to tell them, i wld of cos say stuff to protect myself and that would be unfair to him. argh ... the peoples i've talk to regarding this matter was only annaling, adeline and justin and mind u i only told em that i was feeling down because of this and that . compared to wad TZ noes, its like nothing ... somehow i wish u are reading this right now cos i noe i will never get the chance to clarify stuff with u. 

life sucks

Title:	Untitled
Date:	2007-03-31 @ 20:18
Security:	public
Location:	HOME
Mood:	cheerful

So much things to say after not updating for 10 days...

First of all, last thurs gary apologized to me.so shocking cos i never expect him to talk to me not even to say sorry lah. So now things between us is fine. i think these few days is my happiest moments since like last year june? hahas yup .. beginning to love my class more and more. =]

ok now coming to my block test result .. im so DISAPPOINTED with myself .. argh ... 30.5 for math! i knew i could have done better. well at least i pass chemistry and econs ... jus hopping that i can pass Gp and Bio too. gonna work super hard for mid year =]

today went to bedok reservoir for sports carnival 2007 =] initially was like quite fun but after that i was feeling so sleepy lah. hmm can see that most of my classmates enjoyed dragonboat lah. wanted to row too but everyone turn up, one rare event apart from exam that u will see all of 0634 peeps ... hmm my event was the 1km run .. its more tiring then i expected. my legs are wobbly and i can't stand straight.. in the end went to the first aid station to apply cream on my leg cause the muscle is damn tense there ...

took a train home from tampines to jurong. wow damn long lah the journey. sleep all the way ..

Title:	its over! yeahhh
Date:	2007-03-21 @ 12:48
Security:	public
Location:	jurong home sweet home
Music:	Famous Last Words
Mood:	happy

Block Test is finally over! 
yeah .... hahas two day leave from school too. woots let me do a short review from Monday till wednesday. hahas

Monday 19/03/07
didn study for general paper but still hopping that i can a good pass somehow! hahas well the compo part was quite easy just that i spend 15 minutes thinking how to write the introduction but in the end i started off with those typical secondary school intro lah. dumB !!! oh ya i chose the question on "the right to die is a personal choice. To what extent you agree." Well Mr Seah went through Euthanesia in detail just before school end. HAH!!! i was damn tired when after doing compo but still have the damn compre lah, was alrdy having double vison alrdy so damn tired. lucky compre was ok.

i shall skip the part bout math paper. DISASTROUS !

Tuesday 20/03/07
didn study for chem lah. slept for 10 hours till 545am!i was like stunned when i woke up. faster shower and study abut then off i go school. well chem paper was easy so was econs paper. consolation for math paper!

Wednesday 21/03/07
the bio paper today was the easiest i've ever attempted in Nanyang lah. but i think i screwed up as well but the marks will definitely be BETTER then promos. hahas

i shall watch HEROES now!

Title:	can't sleep
Date:	2007-03-19 @ 01:33
Security:	public
Location:	living room
Mood:	okay

1.34 am and im still awake! haas ... math and GP paper tmr lah, should've slept ages ago but im still wide awake! hope tmr can think or esle ... 

now waiting for CSI: NY ... CSI is such a nice show lah HAHA i'm so going to study hard so i can be a crime scene investigator! means that  so how i have to Ace Bio and Chem .. haha .. 

feels that i didn't really work hard for this block test at all! so guilty now lah. i know i ought to work hard cos its my A level year already BUT i don't have the stamina to non-stop study one whole week can. argh. whatever results i get for this bloody block test! i swear im going to study daily so i won't be so stressed like now!!! i even have my June hols schedule worked out. study everyday at JE library with my sister since this is her O level year. i am so going to keep to my schedule!! 

Target For Mid-Year Exams ...

1] Biology: B
2] Chemistry: A
3] Mathematics: B
4] Economics: B
5] General Paper: B

Go go go!!! you can do it!! =]

some bleach pictures =]